The last couple of weeks I have had some experiences that I wish I could say were very unusual, but there are becoming all too common place. The experiences have been with rude people. I saw the phrase, "Common courtesy is not all that common" the other day and I said, "Can I get an amen?"
The first experience was in Kroger last week. I gathered the items I needed and made my way to the check-out. I saw a lady standing just slightly to the left of one line but not far enough over to be in the other one. So I decided she must be in line #4 so I proceeded to go toward line #3. All of a sudden I heard her say, "No, no, no don't you get in that line!" To which I responded, "Pardon me?" I thought maybe she was a bit eccentric or had some problem. She said, "I'm next in line and I'm waiting for the next available line to open." I looked around just to make sure there was no Que line, you know with the ropes, etc. where the person at the counter says, "Next" and there was none. So I said, "I'm sorry ma'am but you can't hold spots in two different lines." She glared and me and said, "Oh yes I can!" Well I decided I could either get into an argument with her or just take the high road and walk away. I decided to walk away but my path wasn't exactly the "high road" because I did get my opinion in there. As I walked away I said, "You know what? I'm having a really good day so far and I'm choosing to not let a rude person like you ruin it for me!" I proceeded to go to an open line down the way where I was greeted by a very nice cashier. When I took my receipt, I noticed she gave me the "Senior discount". Now that could have ruined my day but I decided what the heck, it's saving money right?
The second experience happened last week when I was in Athens visiting my oldest son at UGA. We had a great time and after I left his apartment, I decided to stop in at a local Chick-fil-A to use the facilities and get a soda. When I walked out of the restaurant, I noticed that the car beside me had both passenger side doors open. There was a man and 2 small children standing there and I said, "Pardon me, I'm going to need to back out." To which he replied, "No you're not." Um really? I think I just said I was leaving. I said, "Actually I am" and he said, "No you aren't because my wife is getting the baby out of the car and you can just wait." Now I'm appreciative of what it takes the get a baby out of a car, I have 3 children who are close in age and taking them to a store and getting 3 kids out of a car is like trying to juggle Jello. But the fact was that there was no car parked on the other side of them so she could certainly close the passenger doors and get the baby out on the driver's side. I really did need to leave so I just said, "Well you are presuming that I have time to wait on you but I need to get on the road, I have a drive ahead of me." I proceeded toward my car and the wife who apparently heard her hubby ordering me around, reached over and closed the door. I'm still not sure what was taking her so long but at least she had the courtesy to close the door.
I also read a blog the other day where someone was talking about children who were allowed to run wild at other people's homes and how rude it was. The writer was lamenting about how many things had been ruined or broken at their home because parents didn't make their children behave or teach them to respect other's property. One person commented that the writer cared more about their home than they did the children and basically said that children should be allowed to "express themselves". Wow! My parents never got that memo for sure! I know people hate to hear the phrase "back in the day" but this needs to be said. When we went to someone's home, our parents coached us before we went on how to behave. We were given rules to follow or we knew there WOULD be consequences. We were polite to the parents, we did not go in any room unless we were invited and we NEVER asked for something to eat or drink. If it was offered, you said "thank you" and you sat at the kitchen table to consume it. If you made a mess in the playroom, you helped clean it up. You knew better than to say "Yuck, I don't like that" or jump on furniture. Now before you say, "Well that sounds like no fun!" it really was. Of course if it was nice weather, we played outside anyway so we didn't worry about messing anything up indoors. Oh and by golly you didn't interrupt the parents when they were talking unless someone was bleeding or throwing up. We didn't go out to eat much when we were younger so if we went to a restaurant, it was a huge treat! We knew from the get go that screaming, running around the restaurant, throwing a fit, bugging the people next to you would not be tolerated. That was a sure way to not get to see the inside of a restaurant for a long time. Fast forward to the neighbor kid who came to play with my kids and I caught him standing with my refrigerator door open trying to see what he wanted. I told him that we were happy to have him play but this was not his home and therefore he was not allowed to open the refrigerator door, the pantry door or any other doors without permission. If he wanted a snack, he could ask me nicely and that did not mean, "Get me something to eat!" Yes, I have actually heard that phrase uttered by a neighbor child. To that my oldest son replied something like, "Well you can bet you aren't getting anything now!" He was right.
I guess the difference was back then children were a wonderful part of the family but the family did not revolve around our wants and needs. We learned to make our bed, pick up our toys, help with laundry, clean the house and set the table. My mom didn't really like anyone in her kitchen so we usually were relegated to miscellaneous tasks. We had lots of fun and laughter at the dinner table and afterwards, we cleaned up the dishes. When we moved to our new house and I realized it had a real dishwasher, I was overjoyed!
Anyway, it seems that these days people have forgotten their manners and are forgetting to teach their children manners. Now there are some wonderful parents out there who are doing a great job, I've taught many of their children in preschool. I had several children in my class last year who had awesome manners! But I've also noticed over the years that children aren't even taught "please" and "Thank you" consistently. I try my best to instill this in the classroom but I can't do it alone. Academics are incredibly important and I'm all for top quality education. But while we are doing that, we need to make sure children are taught character.
I also try to be courteous to people I run into during everyday life. It doesn't take much to smile at the cashier in the grocery store or to say "thank you" to the server who fills up your water. If everyone would try this, I know the world would be a happier place.
